Sunday, October 21, 2012

AUSSIE CURVES: I'M IN A MOTHERF*CKING BIKINI!!!


Oh my god I'M IN A MOTHERFUCKING BIKINI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It's for this week's theme of 'Breaking the Rules' for Aussie Curves. Given that I never abide by any rules in everyday-wear, I took it to swimwear instead, where I'm normally far more comfortable in a one-piece. But why? I have no problem with my midriff: it is what it is, AND I THINK I LOOK DANG HOT!!!!!!


Well that's a big lie. I am very hung-up about putting this online but FUCK IT.

Whenever I see other women's bodies at the beach and the pool: of all shapes and sizes - I think they look fab - if its outside your own body and insecurities, everything's all fine! Because it's my own though I get all hung up.

Like I said it's not my tummy that bothers me anyway- so the difference between the one-piece that I'm used to and this bikini (while unfamiliar to me) is negligible. It's my thunder-thighs which piss me off as I feel they quite closely resemble PORRIDGE.


I don't get hung up normally about getting into my swimmers. I am not a gym-bunny and I don't like exercise in general but I DO love swimming. My Auntie Clare (who kindly took these pics for me - thanks Boo!), my Grandma and sometimes my little cousins, go swimming every Sunday morning at Carss Park pool together. It's nice to all catch up and to splash around in the water and try and out-do each other with lap-tallies.

Back to my thighs though: there's no point hiding them in board-shorts. They may be handy for the beach but not when you're doing lap after lap at the pool: they drag you down.

When I feel particularly active, in addition to the family Sunday tradition, I also go after work a couple of times a week at the pools near Sydney CBD after work (Vic Park at Broadway is a fave). I am a terribly slow swimmer: if I don't have flippers on, I am the slowest in the slow lane. But I'm a strong swimmer in the sense that I could stay in the water for hours and you couldn't drown me if you put your foot on my head. 


I love the water: Mum always called me a water-baby when I was growing up and it does make me happy splashing round in there!

I've never done a bikini before today: I only have the bikini top because being a swimmer, with a severe lack of swimsuits, I bought a bunch of them from Evans at their end of summer season sale. Suspecting that none would fit, I bought several in the varying sizes they had left hoping that one would fit. 

Well, they ALL fit. I bought this bikini top for eight pounds, intending to use it under a swimsuit as a bra for support: which is something that is severely lacking in Aussie plus-size swimsuits. I had an old pair of bottoms  from a tankini that had worn out at the top and voila! We have a bikini!

YES I KNOW THEY'RE MISMATCHED - THIS IS CLEARLY ALSO PART OF BREAKING THE RULES!!!


Anyhoo, hope you've enjoyed viewing my weird pudgy body and I hope it inspires you to get your own out there too! Because you've got nothing to be ashamed of: A girl's gotta swim!!!!

BREAK THE MOTHER-F*CKING RULESSSS DUUUUUUDEEEEEEE!!!!!!





25 comments:

  1. Heck yes you ARE! I was wondering what the heck someone who has such rule breaker style would do for break the rules week. And this, is FABULOUS. rock it lady, the Interwebs won't know what hit them. :D

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  2. You look amazing and realy suit the bikini I love it! Don't worry about porridge legs I think yours look fine and personally I think board shorts make us all look bigger any way! Your hot and rocking it!!

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  3. You look totally gorgeous!! I love the bikini, and I love your sass :)

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  4. You know what? When I go to the beach I see women half my size who ALSO have saggy bellies and lumpy thighs but THEY are letting is all hang out. So why can't us plus sized ladies too??

    For myself, I still stick with a 'safe' tankini, however I don;t do board shorts. I have a swim skirt that I wear. It is a little short, and the edge of my bum escapes it sometimes. but STUFF IT! I see thinner ladies who's bums EAT their bottoms. They don't care (nor should they!) ! Time to be bold I say.

    LOVE IT!!!

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  5. I'm not plus-sized. I'm a size 12/14 with post-baby belly floppy podge and "porridge thighs". And you won't find me wearing a bikini anytime soon! KUDOS TO YOU!

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  6. Looking good! I've been thinking about whether or not to rock a bikini this year but I've been sticking to the not side of the equation, this post however may have just changed my mind. You look fabulous!!!

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  7. LOVE this post! I love being in the water too, but I'm terrible about getting into swimmers (even my board shorts). But do you know what? I'm better than I was. Between the ages of 15 and 22, I did not get into the water at all. Not once. Can you fathom how many amazing experiences I missed out on as I travelled with my family around Australia? How many trips and days out I turned down with my friends because they'd be swimming? I look back and I could cry at that waste.

    No more. I got married and on my honeymoon my husband begged me to come into the pool with him. Where he proceeded to try to have his way with me (naughty, naughty boy), at which point I think I kind of got over my swimmers 'rule'.

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  8. And that's an awesome polka dots bikini! Looking good.

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  9. Wow you look great! I wish I had your confidence to be in a bikini! Stunning!

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  10. I must confess to not having put on a swimsuit in over 5 years now due to issues with my thighs, arms and big boobs. I know it's silly as I used to enjoy swimming. You're an inspiration, go you good thing!

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  11. You're M.F.GORGEOUS ;~) Love your post, love your attitude, in my book you're ten out of M.F. ten, well done ;~)

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  12. Gorgeous! I love that bikini. I want one!

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  13. I think you look amazeballs, but I totally understand what you mean about us all having our own less then favourite areas. Mine are my upper arms. I love the water too, I'm going to miss having a pool once I move. Oh, and I like that the top is polka dot, but the bottom is plain!

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  14. This is far more than anything I would ever be able to share on the internet. You're a fearless woman! Love your work!

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  15. LOVEEE this post and your bravery and your "fuck it" attitude!! BRAVO! love your polka dot bikini top and your shades!! :D

    Siki-Lou x

    http://siki-lou.blogspot.com.au/

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  16. RESPECT! Aretha Franklin style x

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  17. You total babe!!! I love everything about this, you are so fabulous! x

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  18. Your title made me LOL big time. Def rocked that bikini.
    Luv Jac@CommonChaosChronicle xoxo

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  19. woot woot girly! you look fantastic!!!! xx

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